I have always believed it is a lot easier to deal with male friends. To me, female friends had lots of issues. If there was a disagreement, it would last way longer with a female involved than a male.
Men don't have issues. Simple, easy going, no time to quarrel, they don't envy you each time you get new clothes, shoes, gadgets, cars or even boyfriends.
Growing up, the ratio of my male to female friends had always been 8:2. Guys do not judge, they do not accuse you of exchanging their weaves with yours., they look out for you. Best of all, you can be certain of receiving the realest advice ever. I've never met a more accommodating set of people.
But lately, I have started losing faith in them. Not because they no longer possess the above characteristics. No, not at all. Just one irritatingly annoying attribute...
That burning desire in them to copulate that is never ever satiated.
You meet a guy, real cool. Both of you have the same interests. You start to hangout, you meet his other friends. You join their crew. Maybe he has a girlfriend, maybe you have a boyfriend, doesn't exactly matter. Your new friend and his guy crew are 'crae'. You play video games, even beat the sh*t out of them, nice! You hang out with them at night, drink with them, point out girls to chase, sleep in the same room together. You're practically part of the guy crew now. You're in on the guy codes too.
Friendship takes a new turn for you. You get to understand how easy and fun life is without female drama: "is that my shirt you're wearing, how dare you?" or your girl's boyfriend gives you a ride home and you get reprimanded.
Crazy, right?
But here, with your new guy crew, none of that happens. You wear their shirt, you hear "that really suits you, you should wear such more often." or you hang out with their girls, when you get back they are all eager to know what their girls said about them and how they feel.
No antagonism.
But then, one day at the height of it all, he tries to kiss you or tries to cuddle at night. Then you tell him off and he stupidly says "don't you like me?" or "let's have sex"
Dafuq?
It sucks. Guys, get control of your feelings. That's what differentiates you from animals. Self will, self restraint.
Can't members of the opposite sex be friends.. Just friends???
Nope. They can't. Realised that sometime last year and my mum's earlier warnings about the impossibility of guys and girls being just friends rang in my head like bells ringing at the sistine chapel. Their insatiable sexual desire for various members of the opposite sex always fails them.
ReplyDeleteYou must write more. You are expressing your distaste but at the same time just stating how you feel about it- goodnaturedly. Correct me if that’s incorrect. Being naturally critical around literature and moviemaking, I could pick minor grammar misses but the message overpowers them. I love this part- ‘You wear their shirt, you hear "that really suits you, you should wear such more often." - I do that and would love to change that. The article honours those few (girl)friends of mine who go out on walks with me, talk about (most) things under the sun, share the bill when hanging out and don’t care how often we call each other. And yes there are moments my temptations get the better of reason. Thankfully not to the point of embarrassment. I am sure you have your own ‘special’ (guy) friends.
ReplyDeleteHi Sunny Side Up, nice to hear from you. Thanks for accepting that there r moments your temptations get the better of reason... *wink*
DeleteHey Chinaza, Sure thing. Well to be fair to the guys, it's natural how I feel. So it's not really an admission. And to answer the real question- yes a man and a woman can be friends. If you think the line is being crossed, oftentimes a firm nudge is enough. A BIG NO. That's if you think the friendship is well worth saving. It worked on me and we kept our friendship. In fact it's more fun now. With regards to Sunny Side up, I only realised I had a blog by that name when I was responding to this. I am Raju from the Tour Guide page. Gbam! Who is Amartya by the way?
ReplyDeleteGood to know, Raju,. Amartya is a name given to me by my Indian friends.
Deletehmmm.....choosing friends with respect to gender has always come with a flaw or two or even more. Dis very one abt the guys; is typical and strenuous to disdain even amongst the best of us. As a matter of fact, it has destroyed kings. Thus, if there is any man out there among the invisible few who's got dis attribute, he must be regarded a SUPERMAN!
ReplyDelete@Chinaza- Then I am sure you have looked up its meaning. Its a beautiful name for one and has a beautiful meaning too. The name brings to mind the famous Amartya Kumar Sen- an Indian economist and philosopher
ReplyDelete@Succexxful Succexx- and probably thats why both sexes lend excitement and the mystery to relationships in varying measures. Would have been pretty predictable and boring otherwise just like if everyone were honest and upright!
Sex doesn't have to be involved to keep things interesting. @sunnysideup @succexxfulsuccexx u do not have to be superman to be able to be friends wv d opposite sex wv no strings attached. All it takes is mutual respect and Self control keeping in mind that the friendship u share is more important than anything dt could destroy that friendship.
ReplyDeleteOk... I am just reading this... I agree with the writer and I even agree more with #SunnySideUp... A simple nudge should put your relationship back where it was and even bring you more closer. It's totally humane to be tempted, that simply gives you an opportunity to draw the line not to cross...
ReplyDeleteRecently I was in such a position and what I did was to talk about it in one of our casual conversation... Now we know lines we can't cross...