Thursday 17 January 2019

Unfit

Everytime I see you,
I think of how I want to travel the world with you
See all the beautiful locations the earth offers
The uninhabitable and dodgy ones as well
Climb hills, mountains... Fences and broken walls
And this can't be because you do not have such mindset

Everytime I see you
I think of all the food I can cook up for you
How I want to feed you fat
Watch the excitement in your face as you try out the delicious items on the menu
As well as the semi concealed frown at the ones that didn't come out so well
I want to learn as many cuisines as I can and have you as my number one taster
But this cannot be because as much as you like food, you have to consider your health as well

Everytime I see you
I think of sex. Of hard core, rqging bull, sweat dripping, frustration pounding sex
I also think of lovemaking. Of satin sheets, slow grinding, sensual rhythmic, body movements.
Of costumes, roleplays and ananga ranga.
But this cannot be because I am still too mentally damaged to let myself free
And each time I try, I think of you with the other women.

Everytime I see you
I think of building a life with you
Making money, setting up real estates, mega farming...
Unreal hydroponics and hidden devil's lettuce cultivation
I think of investments. I think of revenues. Business plans.. I think of goal setting and achievements
I do not think this can be because I do not think you have you and I in mind for the future.

Everytime I see you
I think of couple goals. Of hairstyles, fashion, tattoos, piercings, photographs, music, art.
I think of you. Of us. Of mini us. Three.. Maybe four if you prefer. I think of family.

And I think I want to remove every pain, every stress crease, every upset, every imbalance, every discomfort, every frustration, every anger.

I want to 'colour life like its all in crayons'...
I want to see that beautiful smile of yours.
I want to love you. I want to love you. I want to love you.
And I want you to love me as well.

But this cannot be because you are not ready.
So you say.
And I know...
I think I know
that when you're eventually ready, you'll have someone else you love.