We've all dreamed of this special
day... well, maybe not all of us. But the thoughts do seep in once a
while. Who? When? How? Where?
Mine is more like "light pink or grey wedding dress?", "how huge will the rock be on the ring?", "What car do I get as an engagement gift?". Yes! when I dream, I dream big. its a great exercise: cuts down too much time.
Last week I got a call from a friend who just got engaged. She didnt sound too excited. Apparently, she didnt get the "fancy" ring and all that goes with it. After she hung up, I thought about her reasons for not being excited. Certains things were lacking in the picture. And they weren't too far-fetched from what most girls want:- The "Perfect Everything", not just man, but the perfect in laws, perfect financial status e.t.c
A couple of years back, I was one of such girls thinking in this line. He has to have money, a house, a car, great family, should love me more than I do (this thought hasnt changed), great character and sense of humour, and should take every celebration seriously and by that I mean lavish me with gifts.... what? Is that too much to ask?
Anyways, I grew to understand certain things. Before you consider marriage, take some time out of your "fantasy time" to study your partner.
Understand his person: What's he like when he's angry. Does he get violent, even if not at you, what about stuff lying around? One day, he may run out of stuff lying around and turn on u. How does he treat people? is he respectful, kind and considerate. Does he listen to advice or does he think he is Bruce Almighty?Does he have a role model? Does he seek other people's(yours in particular) opinion on issues.
Family: What's his relationship with his mother. Does he show her love? Is he the type to put her in check when she tends to go overboard or does he turn to her for everything? How's his relationship with his father? His siblings?
Whats his attitude towards money. Does he believe in saving or he is of the opinion that tomorrow will fend for itself? does he take care of your needs(and by this I do not mean turning him into an ATM).
Are you happy with him and his attitude? Do you communicate? And by that, I mean freely express yourselves and how you feel, share ideas. Do you two accept when you're wrong or you blame the other for everything that goes wrong?
And lets not forget his spirituality. God first.
I am not saying you should use this as your premarriage guide, but finding out all of these will go a long way to getting you what you want.
While you are on all these, do not forget to seek God's face. When you go with God's choice, you'll understand what a perfect marriage is, for God's thoughts for you are of good...thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Goodluck!
Mine is more like "light pink or grey wedding dress?", "how huge will the rock be on the ring?", "What car do I get as an engagement gift?". Yes! when I dream, I dream big. its a great exercise: cuts down too much time.
Last week I got a call from a friend who just got engaged. She didnt sound too excited. Apparently, she didnt get the "fancy" ring and all that goes with it. After she hung up, I thought about her reasons for not being excited. Certains things were lacking in the picture. And they weren't too far-fetched from what most girls want:- The "Perfect Everything", not just man, but the perfect in laws, perfect financial status e.t.c
A couple of years back, I was one of such girls thinking in this line. He has to have money, a house, a car, great family, should love me more than I do (this thought hasnt changed), great character and sense of humour, and should take every celebration seriously and by that I mean lavish me with gifts.... what? Is that too much to ask?
Anyways, I grew to understand certain things. Before you consider marriage, take some time out of your "fantasy time" to study your partner.
Understand his person: What's he like when he's angry. Does he get violent, even if not at you, what about stuff lying around? One day, he may run out of stuff lying around and turn on u. How does he treat people? is he respectful, kind and considerate. Does he listen to advice or does he think he is Bruce Almighty?Does he have a role model? Does he seek other people's(yours in particular) opinion on issues.
Family: What's his relationship with his mother. Does he show her love? Is he the type to put her in check when she tends to go overboard or does he turn to her for everything? How's his relationship with his father? His siblings?
Whats his attitude towards money. Does he believe in saving or he is of the opinion that tomorrow will fend for itself? does he take care of your needs(and by this I do not mean turning him into an ATM).
Are you happy with him and his attitude? Do you communicate? And by that, I mean freely express yourselves and how you feel, share ideas. Do you two accept when you're wrong or you blame the other for everything that goes wrong?
And lets not forget his spirituality. God first.
I am not saying you should use this as your premarriage guide, but finding out all of these will go a long way to getting you what you want.
While you are on all these, do not forget to seek God's face. When you go with God's choice, you'll understand what a perfect marriage is, for God's thoughts for you are of good...thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Goodluck!
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